Of signs and answered prayers: From a working mother to SAHM

It’s a turning point in my life, and also with my family of three. After being a working mom for 7 years, I decided to be a full-time mommy to Gwen. If you’re following my posts on FB, Gwen’s yaya didn’t come back when she went to the province last May, makiki-fiesta lang daw sya. Una, 2 weeks, biglang nagkasakit ang lola, naging 1 month… hanggang sa wala ng paramdam. Take note, nag-iwan pa ng mga gamit nya dito sa amin, yun pala hindi na babalik :(. So from June, Nanay helped in looking after Gwen while Jeff and I go to work. When classes started last July, wala na, chaos at stress na talaga. From waking up early in the morning to prepare Gwen’s lunch, then prepping up to go to work, tapos rushing home after work kasi may homework/quiz/projects pa si Gwen. I can no longer be a multi-hyphenated mom, wala akong bato ni Darna :p, I need to decide if we should hire a yaya again na kahit hindi namin gaanong kakilala or or if I will resign from work.

I feel weirded out kasi nga bakit natatakot ako mawalan ng work eh andyan naman si Jeff. Why it’s so hard for me to decide, samantalang I have friends na ang sabi nila bata pa lang sila, pangarap na raw talaga nila na mag-asawa at alagaan ang mga anak nila. I asked Jeff, bakit ako simula nung bata ako, pag naglalaro ako ng bahay-bahayan na kunwari ako yung mommy, yung idea ko ng mommy dun is pumapasok sa office. Kaya hinihiram ko pa yung heels ni Nanay pati mga dress nya sa mga labada… Bata pa lang ako, working mom na ang peg ko hahaha.

Related: Reasons why I work

It was really a tough decision to make and I prayed for it and asked for signs. Do you believe in signs? Ako, oo. Every time I have problems, I will just pray and I will get answers to my prayers, minsan nga in an instant eh! Just like what happened when I prayed to God to help me decide. I also prayed about my fears, I’m scared din kung kaya ko ba talaga to stay at home. Aside from that is, kaya ba namin to rely in just 1 income, I think yun pa yung isang pinaka-worry ko not just me but also Jeff and Nanay. Ako naman, I still believe na God will always provide. But I still prayed kasi nga we’re not done with the house renovations and Gwen is still studying.

Answered Prayer #1

This happened when I haven’t submitted my resignation letter in the office kasi nga undecided. I was inside the van going home, eh traffic, tapos nagmumuni-muni nga ako. I prayed and asked God for a wise decision, if I will continue working tapos Jeff and I will just fix our schedule para someone will be at home after Gwen’s school. I prayed with my eyes closed, after ko magdasal, I saw a jeepney na ang nakasulat sa “dashboard” or yung pangalan ng jeep nya is “GWEN”. He gave me a clear answer :).

Answered Prayer #2

After getting my GWEN answer, I submitted my resignation letter. Habang papalapit na yung last day ko, syempre andyan na yung lungkot because I’m with the company for 15 years, first job ko to! And of course, yun nga, what if this set-up will not work out? Paano na kami??? Sobra yata ang worry ko at mahaba ang traffic sa Talaba sa Bacoor, natapos ko ang rosary. After ko mag-rosary, I checked my phone para mag Facebook na lang. And this FB status is the first in my feed:

I hope you can read the whole post, ini-screenshot ko lang kasi from Patti’s post with her permission. Let me share to you this line…

When I shared how I’ve struggled with certain situations, he reminded me that the Lord said: His ways are not our ways. The important thing is to trust and believe that His better is far more amazing than anything we can plan for ourselves.

Sabi ni God wag daw akong matakot and trust His plans. So I will…

I don’t miss the MRT, the smelly UV Express, and the Cavite traffic. But I will miss my friends in the office for 15 years, at syempre yung everyday date namin ni Jeff sa canteen tsaka yung barista drink ko sa Starbucks na na-perfect na ng mga barista dun ang gusto kong timpla :p.

Here’s to a start of more baon ideas, recipes, learning how to drive, going to the gym, more ME time and time for friends.

Thanks for reading my lengthy post and I hope this will help and inspire other mommies who are having the same problems. Just pray for clarity and let God lay out His plans.